You may be able to salvage love and friendship and still have a broken marriage. If you need less than she does, that is not a reflection on your masculinity, although you might initially experience it as such. There is no going backwards here; no retreat is really possible without the both of you falling hopelessly into a state of denial. A final word about therapy. Holidays like Mardi Gras are supposed to be about having a fleshy and lusty holiday free from the normal constraints of culture; but they have become watered down and Disney-fied to the point where they no longer fulfill their function. A good deal of the appeal of BDSM is that it is transgressive and forbidden and shameful and dirty. When you use the term "insanity" above, what specifically are you referring to?
Keep in mind that people really vary in terms of their sexual appetites, and not everyone needs the same amount of sex, or the same intensity of sex. I think so long as she continues to see her actions as shameful, dirty and wrong, that will be how long she continues to find them appealing, because, again, it is exciting to be dirty and shameful. I found out that my wife of 33 years has been having an affair involving bondage and discipline for the last 7. BDSM is particularly appealing to people like your wife, because she has the illusion of being forced to do it against her will, which fits with her desire to be a good girl. A final word about therapy. She is totally choosing to have this variety of sex. Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. People have different needs for excitement; some more than others. Does the fact that your wife has had sex with strangers make it worse than if she only cheated on you with one other man? However, it is an illusion that has great power because it enables her to retain her sense of being good. If you need less than she does, that is not a reflection on your masculinity, although you might initially experience it as such. BDSM is about sexual intensity; it is not about making love. Could she be capable of not being in love with her bondage partner and still loving me at the same time as she claims? You may be able to salvage love and friendship and still have a broken marriage. I found out all by finding emails in a secret account. Because there is no socially sanctioned outlet, people turn to underground practices, like pornography and BDSM to get their needs met. If you have issues with sex for pure pleasure and many of us do because that is what our Judeo-Christian-based culture teaches us to do then BDSM will appear to be perverse, and an affair based on BDSM will be extra-painful, because it is not only a betrayal of marital commitment; it is also a betrayal of values. Love was probably never the point to that relationship. BDSM sex is unapologetically sex concerned with generating intense sensual experiences; it is sex for pleasure even if the definition of what is pleasurable is defined in oddball ways. She answered yes and a bi-yearly relationship began meeting mostly in Las Vegas. It is certainly possible that your wife can still be in love with you, and not in love with her BDSM partner s. It began after a high school reunion when an old flame asked her if she had any sexual fantasies. It was never meant to hurt me, but was only for her own "selfishness". I ask these questions because I think it is important for you to think through exactly what it is that is painful here, or more properly, in what proportions each of these issues is painful. The funny part about that that a lot of committed homosexual couples end up having "boring" committed relationship sex just like the hetero couples.
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