The most common reasons for intercourse being painful are also often 1 - 3 above, not 4. There's nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to bleeding, just like there's nothing for a guy to be ashamed of when it comes to his body fluids, but you do always want to do what you can to avoid injury with sex, just like we want to avoid injury with anything else. For a very long time, before there was the better understanding of women's bodies and sexuality we have in this century and some of the last, it was near-universally thought that women who had not had intercourse or any other kind of vaginal entry had a seal on the front of their vaginas the hymen which was only "broken" by their first sexual partner. Because of cervical tenderness during pregnancy , some pregnant people experience bleeding from intercourse, too. Based on what we know from medicine, and what sex educators know from talking to people about this, the first three situations are the most common causes of vaginal bleeding, not the last.
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: And if that surprises you, please understand that the idea no one will ever forget every detail of their first time simply doesn't hold up to reality: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; and, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. Historically, there have also been some issues of cultural expectations for men and women alike afoot around this, like the notion that a marriage wasn't really bonafide unless it had been consummated, so blood on the sheets proved a married couple had had sex. The same people also often think first-time intercourse usually or always will be -- or even should be -- painful. Some of this was based in ignorance, and some in seriously hardcore sexism and viewing women, and our bodies, as property. Based on what we know from medicine, and what sex educators know from talking to people about this, the first three situations are the most common causes of vaginal bleeding, not the last. We get asked what you're asking a lot, and have a lot of women writing in worried that they didn't bleed, and also hear from men who don't trust the sexual history of women partners who didn't bleed. In other words, it may be possible, in that their partner can manage to force their penis or whatever else into the vagina, but it often won't feel good to that receptive partner , and often results in tearing of or abrasions to the tissues of the vulva, vagina or cervix. How long after a girl's first time should they bleed for and how heavy should they bleed? When a partner is too rough. Consider that in our modern day, for as much as you hear adults talking about how young people having sex in their teens and twenties are, many women in history, and in some places still, had first intercourse and marriage at even younger ages than now. How can injury happen during sex? In either case, that doesn't tell us, all by itself, anything about you, your value as a person, the state of your virginity or your sexual experience. Maybe you will or did have bleeding, and maybe you won't or didn't. And to think how much you all worry about someone seeing a menstrual stain on your pants! When it all comes down to it, they've never really been about women at all, but about the way men and the world at large decided women are or are not valuable based not only in sexism, but in ignorance about our bodies. We know that some people with vaginas have bleeding and that others have none. Even in relationships or communities today where bleeding or not isn't such a dire matter, some women are still dishonest with friends, family or partners about bleeding because -- mostly because of all this history -- they worry something is or was wrong with them if they didn't, feel ashamed they didn't bleed, worry someone will question that it really was their first time, or feel they need to tell partners they bled in order to satisfy them. Some ideas around virginity, first intercourse and bleeding as proof of virginity also involved paternity. Other women cut themselves on purpose to create blood. The idea that "breaking in" or "deflowering" a woman was about male power and prowess, same deal. Suffice it to say, if a person with a vagina isn't consenting to sex at all, but is sexually assaulted, bleeding is very common for this reason. The same is true today. Ideally, it should start by being something you or any other woman, as well as her partner very much want and feel ready for and comfortable with as a whole. If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, and give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: The idea that women needed to prove a male partner or spouse got what they paid for through most of history, marriage involved financial exchanges and benefits when they married a virgin was the norm for most of history in many cultures, most certainly including Western culture.
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