Of course, if filth doesn't frighten you, the law is on to your little plan as well and has been since the early 's, so you're not fooling anyone by sitting in the back row. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Most people tell you to keep food tightly sealed so that bears won't come after you, but you should keep your legs sealed for the same reason. Back in the 50s, from what we've gleaned from movies made in the 80s , everyone was taking their girl up to make out point and then impregnating her on some luxurious leather upholstery within arm's reach of another car where another couple was doing the exact same thing. Probably the numerous people who have been in accidents while having sex in the car. Microorganisms are the third leading cause of death behind heart attacks and cancer, so you may not want to rub your juicy parts all over the nightclub bathroom counter after all. You don't need to know what any of those diseases mean.
Then again, they also named a drink the Duck Fart. It's like have sex in a kitchen cabinet, but imagine that there were a bunch of faucets and handles inside your cabinet jabbing you in the ass. It's all kinds of fun. Whether you're watching Tomb Raider, Megan Fox doing anything, or Jurassic Park 3, one thing leads to another and suddenly you're the Mayor of Boner City and you can't think of a single better idea than porking in the darkened theater. After all, what's hotter than the cold, seagulls and the potential to drown en masse? In fact, they can live a fuller, more robust life in the sand than in the water. Bacteria like bacillus cereus have been found in some theaters which is known to cause quick, sexy bouts of diarrhea. We're gonna be internet stars! The prospect of being jammed in a tiny, ripe coffin-sized-bathroom when you hit a patch of rough turbulence that results in you getting wedged somewhere that, when you really, really think about it, you don't want to be wedged can't be entirely alluring either. Every summer, beaches around the country get shut down due to high bacteria levels in the water. Continue Reading Below Advertisement If you're thinking you'll slip into the ladies room because it's cleaner, you should know that while the men's room may be ankle deep in piss, women's washrooms tend to have a higher amount of fecal bacteria present, in some cases twice as much. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Legality aside, since you can be arrested for such behavior, there's also the potential safety risks. Back then, stewardesses were all tall, hot, skanky and wholly unqualified at their jobs, if porn is any indication. Of course, if filth doesn't frighten you, the law is on to your little plan as well and has been since the early 's, so you're not fooling anyone by sitting in the back row. If you're grinding away all nude and lascivious on that sand, chances are some of it is finding its way inside your body. Continue Reading Below 3 The Woods Few things are more romantic than packing up for a weekend, heading to the great outdoors, getting a fire going, pitching a tent and then crawling inside with your honey for some awkward, claustrophobic sex on uneven ground while insects watch. According to research by the University of California, Santa Barbara, even a chlorinated pool can have enough bacteria to get forced inside you and lead to yeast infections and urinary tract infections. For instance, when the Queen of the North , a ferry that ran along the coast of British Columbia, ran into an island, something that's generally stationary and easy to navigate around, there were some rumors that the folks in charge may have had their heads down at the wheel. And let's be honest, while some sex may be worth being caught by the authorities, you're hard pressed to present a single case of boning that's worth a bear attack. Continue Reading Below 8 A Pool For those too lazy to get to the beach or too fearful of an incident involving jellyfish and taint, there's the semi-thrill of sex in a swimming pool. And while even places that recommend sex on the beach will point out the sand issue with a little wink and a nudge, they rarely mention the levels of fecal bacteria often found in the sand. Also have you ever even seen an airplane bathroom? Well, you should at least know the dangers of these fantasy sex locations before you get drunk enough to try it. Maybe it's the feel of that svelte faux leather upholstery that so many other asses have touched, maybe it's the scent of fake pine and cured meats or maybe it's the thrill of an unshaved man who also stinks of fake pine and cured meats watching you in the rear view mirror. What follows is one of the classic articles that appear in the book, along with 18 new articles that you can't read anywhere else.
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