But if we rewind a few decades more Did he need hair implants already? He also looks like Doc Brown's grumpier brother. It's like he traveled back in time to change the course of established events and got trapped there, creating a temporal loop. And he was a huge lover of laxatives , up to and including sending fans pictures of himself proving how well they worked. He looks like someone modeled him specifically to play deranged wackos and villains, but then he rebelled against his creators and started playing good guys too. Danny Trejo This is him at age
The premature combover is admittedly regrettable, but also irrelevant, since it's impossible not to get lost in those eyes. There is one catch to this version, however: That's not to say that he wasn't bad-looking in his old er age, but damn. Because his body was bangin'. Danny Trejo This is him at age Continue Reading Below Advertisement By , Trejo was playing bit-part gangsters in productions like Death Wish 4 , Bail Out , and Maniac Cop 2 , but he still found time to hang out with his old friends and do what all manly man men do in their downtime: That's not a bad thing -- it's important to have an aesthetic, after all -- but it's a little weird that Larry David looks functionally similar to Larry David. You can either throw your thang about like it's on fire and the only thing that extinguishes it is vagina, or you could It's like he traveled back in time to change the course of established events and got trapped there, creating a temporal loop. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook , and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to. Or at least, that's the impression we get from this photo, in which he's cosplaying as that jock from every '80s movie. Support Cracked's journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. D Jankens Imagine a world in which Hitler copied his bowler hat instead. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Of course, that was all pure speculation. Continue Reading Below Advertisement As it turns out, however, remove all of that greasepaint and nightmares, and Chaplin transforms from "creepy old-timey subway lech" to Louis Armstrong"Now leave me alone. In reality, Nixon was nothing but a benchwarmer on the football team. National Portrait Gallery Unquestionably worth it, though. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement In fact, for as long as he's been in the public eye, he's always kinda looked like this. Those guys could hold a grudge. When he was younger, Satchmo was the classiest, suavest motherfluffer in every joint he worked -- and he worked a lot of joints, metaphorically and literally, on his way to the top. Achieve some of these classic-style photos with your own Polaroid-style camera -- yes, they still make them. Did he need hair implants already? Continue Reading Below Advertisement He was also pretty fine in his later years, when a career of writing cutting political satire caused him to transmogrify into a hotter Jon Stewart. Whittier CollegeIt was probably a poor decision to give wedgies to Woodward and Bernstein's parents, though. So why is he here?
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